Well, quitting the Chantix at 25 days smoke free may not be such a good idea. At 43 days, yesterday, I smoked. I have had a total of five and everyone taste like crap. I even bought a pack this morning, looking forward to my old menthol brand, instead of the camel’s I borrowed from a friend, and they still taste like sh*@. But…they did do what I needed them to do. I stopped crying. I cried all day off and on yesterday until I smoked at 4:00 p.m. then I stopped and I haven’t cried since. Strange don’t you think. What does someone do that gets that depressed without Nicotine? Who knows. My dr. just thinks it’s an excuse to smoke. Might be, but if I’m not crying and depressed I don’t smoke? Who knows! I am going to talk to my MD and my Psychiatrist that RX’s my anti-depressants.
What to do now? Start over I guess, I took Chantix yesterday 1/2 mg and 1/2 mg this a.m. I guess I am trying again. It’s awful but it’s good too. I’m not crying but am feeling quilty but not beating my self up. I did not give in to the crave or whatever you want to call it, the first time I cried or was depressed. It was probably the 100th time, but it was the only time I couldn’t stop crying.
Oh well, try, try again.
It’s hard, that’s all I have to say and that I have been Apathetically Narcissistic. That has been my mood since I quit. Those are my 22 year old son’s words and believe it or not it makes sense.
Definition of Apathetic: unconcerned, lethargic, indifferent, listless, bored.
Definition of Narcissistic: self-absorbed, selfish, conceited, vain.
Wow! That is me without nicotine. With nicotine I am just Narcissistic! LOL
Oh well, it is all about me isn’t it???