Smoke Free 55 Days!

Smoke Free 55 Days!

A huge milestone is coming for me. I have never made it to 60 days smoke free. Every time I have attempted to quit-which has been like every two years for the last six to eight years-I have smoked at 57 days, 52 days, etc. Even when I originally started this quit back in November 2007, I smoked at 44 days. So close yet so far. And believe it or not, Saturday night I was craving a cigarette really bad. I couldn’t sleep, I was depressed and crying for no reason really. I was bitchy with everyone and I really wanted a cig. After all this time and many days without a craving or even a thought of a cigarette, it crept up on me like a dark black fog sneaking up behind me and making its way into my mind. It consumed me. Fortunately I remembered that it was getting close to 60 days. The Nicotine monster wants me back.

This is “The Smoker’s Vow” from

The Smoker’s Vow

To be said just before taking your first puff after
having quit for any appreciable period of time

With this puff I enslave myself
to a lifetime of addiction.
While I can’t promise to always love you,
I do promise to obey every craving and
support my addiction to you
no matter how expensive you become.

I will let no husband or wife,
no family member or friend,
no doctor or any other health professional,
no employer or government policy,
no burns or no stench,
no cough or raspy voice,
no cancer or emphysema,
no heart attack or stroke,
no threat of loss of life or limbs,
come between us.

I will smoke you forever
from this day forth,
for better or worse,
whether richer or poorer,
in sickness and in health,
till death do us part!

“You may now light the cigarette.”

“I now pronounce you a full-fledged smoker.”

Postscript: While 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce, the addiction to smoking will last a lifetime—albeit a shorter lifetime. Once a smoker, annulment of the addiction is impossible. One puff can result in a permanent relapse. Don’t take the chance of relapsing to this marriage of inconvenience.


© Joel Spitzer 1994, 2000
Page last updated by Joel Spitzer on August 23, 2003

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